Amicable divorce in Florida

People use a few different words for the same thing. Amicable divorce, friendly divorce, low-conflict divorce, peaceful divorce. They all mean one thing: you and your spouse want to end the marriage without going to war over it.

In Florida, that's handled as an uncontested dissolution of marriage under Chapter 61 (or Chapter 742 if you're not married but have children) of the Florida Statutes. Florida is a no-fault state, so nobody has to prove the other person did something wrong. You just have to agree the marriage is "irretrievably broken." The court does not care what happened between you two. When you agree, the judge's job is small: they review your paperwork, confirm it follows Florida law, and sign off.

And no, being amicable does not mean you agree on everything today. It means you're both willing to work it out instead of fight it out.

Choosing a friendly divorce isn't about being soft. It's about being smart. The law has become clear enough that even pricey lawyers can only do so much within the court system.

Here's what you actually get with a friendly, amicable, online divorce:

• You save a fortune. A litigated Florida divorce runs many thousands of dollars in attorney fees, sometimes well into the six figures. An amicable, uncontested divorce is a flat fee, and that money stays with you and your kids.
• You move on faster. Most amicable cases finish in about 30 to 90 days. Fighting couples wait 6 to 18 months, sometimes longer.
• You stay in control. When you agree, you decide how your life gets divided. When you fight, a judge who has never met you decides for you.
• Your kids suffer less. Children remember whether their parents handled these moments like adults. An amicable divorce protects them from watching you fight, and it sets the tone for co-parenting after.

Friendly divorces don't happen by accident. They happen with intention. A few things keep them on track.

Agree on the goal first. Before you argue about a single dollar, agree that you both want this done cleanly. When you hit hard moments, and you will, remember the common goal. The more money you save on your divorce, the more there is for division of assets, support, and the benefit of your children.

Know this: in July 2023, the Florida Legislature updated how timesharing and alimony are resolved (see Fla. Stat. §61.13 and §61.08). If you go to court, the court has no choice but to apply these laws to your situation. Division of assets and liabilities is governed by Fla. Stat. §61.075. Child support is a mathematical formula under Fla. Stat. §61.30. So what are you really going to fight over when the law already tells you how it's going to be?

The process requires fair dealing and honesty, so put your cards on the table. Most fights start with suspicion. Separate the feelings from the paperwork. You don't have to feel friendly to act reasonably on the documents. Handle the issues like a business decision. Process the emotions with your therapist, and use logic and a big-picture approach when deciding the issues of your separation.

Be deliberate about the big stuff, property, debts, retirement accounts, and if you have kids, the parenting plan and timesharing. Get those right and the rest falls into place. Use a process built for agreement, not a fight. And when you hit a rough patch, call in a Florida certified mediator, not a judge.

The path is the same in all 67 Florida counties, even though local courts move at their own pace.

• Make sure you qualify. One of you needs 6 months of Florida residency, and your case needs to be uncontested.
• Agree on the terms, property, debts, alimony (or that neither of you is paying it), and a parenting plan if you have children.
• Complete your Florida forms, the petition, the marital settlement agreement, and for parents, a parenting plan and child support worksheet.
• Sign and notarize. Do it yourself, or pick the package that includes it, whichever is easier.
• File with your county. Do it yourself, or pick the package that includes filing.
• Submit your Final Judgment. Do it yourself, or add the service so we walk you through it. Depending on the circuit, you may have to attend a brief final hearing, often on video, to have the judge sign your Final Judgment.

If you agreed on everything, you probably wouldn't be separating. It's not black and white. Most couples find themselves here, and it does not mean you've lost your friendly divorce because you don't have 100% agreement on day one.

Plenty of couples agree on the big picture and get stuck on one or two things. Remember your common goal: save your money, keep control, protect the kids.

You talk it through, or you sit down with a Florida certified mediator for a session, and then you finish uncontested. You do a cost-benefit analysis. You remember that at one point there was love in the room, and that at one point you chose to build a family together. So you work it out.

The line isn't whether you've ever disagreed. It's whether you can settle your differences yourselves instead of asking a judge to settle them for you.

Sometimes the friendly route isn't the right one, and it's better to know that up front. Talk to a Florida family-law attorney instead if:

• Your spouse won't participate, or you can't find them
• There is domestic violence
• You think assets are being hidden, or the financial picture isn't complete
• You can't agree on the kids and can't get there with help
• The case is genuinely a fight